Functions. Our life blood and the source of much merriment… and wailing and gnashing of teeth from time to time!
A myriad of entertainment for both guests and members alike…. usually. From my dog’s point of view it’s purely fuss and fake tan. He gets fuss off the guests and (for some unexplainable reason) enjoys licking fake tan off his latest admirer’s person! Only a Labrador can get away with that!
Functions vary enormously though.. normally dependent on the guest’s love of alcoholic beverages…and age!
Alcohol rich functions….
Who’s the more entertaining, adults or young ones who just ‘think’ they are?
Usually adults. From uncle Bob reliving his youth and ‘strutting his stuff’ thinking he’s 40 years younger to ( and this is my personal favourite ) the gentleman who had issues standing up so leant back on the wall… Only to realise he’d moved and there was only a door behind him (he only damaged his ego though!).
As for youth, trust me, 5 pints of Carlsberg and 10 Jaegerbombs does NOT make you god’s gift. Just an idiot. Your type normally ends up emptying the contents of your stomach in the taxi going home (or over a bouncer’s shoes in town after you’ve left the party) or you get dragged into an argument because your witty comment actually wasn’t!
DJ Less Evening Functions…
Bad idea… A good DJ will galvanise and interact with the guests. Play music at a volume that allows the talkers to talk and the dancers to dance.
Believe me… An iPod inspired play list just doesn’t cut the mustard when there’s nothing else going on to encourage dancing etc!
The funniest things? Well the bloke through the door is hard to beat, although the tipsy lady who was offered a Jaegerbomb, downed it in one and then dashed as fast as her stiletto’s would carry her into the Ladies comes a close second!
These are exceptions though. The vast majority of people book, decorate, party and go home happy. Sure, there may be more than a few sore heads in the morning, however, as long as the guests have enjoyed themselves then that’s good enough for us. It’s a measure of how many people do that repeat bookings come in and the verbal recommendations that we’ve had are worth hundreds of Facebook comments.
There probably aren’t many things that we haven’t hosted , although I’m still waiting for our first Bar Mitzvah! The ‘Four Wheels’ contingent (Pram/Christening, Limo/Wedding, Hearse/Wake) are well represented as are the ‘milestone’ birthdays and children’s parties, fun days, club presentations, race nights, etc, etc, etc.
These are the ones that I see as I flick through the diary, but occasionally I see a title of a party that seems slightly ambiguous at first glance. The ‘Coming Out’ party springs to mind here, I suppose, and the instant I’d read it I made a mental note to make sure that medics were going to be on hand to resuscitate Grandma when they realised that their grandson/granddaughter was making a public statement of their sexuality! As it happened it turned out to be someone in the armed forces who was ‘coming out’ i.e. returning to civvy street! Panic over!
Still, it’s all part and parcel of the club’s life. A tapestry of member activities and guest functions. Managed supremely by ACME, supported by staff, it weaves a richer and more varied life for us all and links us more securely into the patchwork of the local and wider community we both want and need to serve. A firm foundation to build on as we continue into the future.